Self-care

Self-care’ has become a buzzword that has permeated pretty much every area of social media with 1.4 million photos hash tagged ‘self-care’ on instagram. If we are to believe social media then ‘self-care’ lives in L.A owns long tanned legs and lives on a diet of green juice and self belief.

The self-care industry generates around $10 billion per year and whilst it is easy to write off as a reserve of the millennial snowflake it has its roots in Ancient Greek philosophy. The French  philosopher Michel Foucault argued that the ancient greeks saw it as integral to democracy: self-care was a necessary part of care for others. It made you a better, more honest citizen. What is self-care and how on earth does it apply to new mothers, when the chances of having a pee alone feels self-indulgent? Should self-care in the post natal period be an afterthought or could mums-to-be plan ahead?

Having supported many families over the years I'm under no illusion that time is something a new mother can purchase on amazon prime! Days whizz by in a haze of feeding, changing and snuggling, where even a full meal can seem like a distant memory. But with a little planning in the antenatal phase, the first few weeks needn't be a blur you would rather forget.

1) Food... Its sounds like basic advice, but stocking the freezer in advance with your favourite foods ready to defrost and heat is a total winner. As is having snacks a plenty dotted around the house and stashed in places you plan on feeding your babies. I highly recommend protein based snack bars, nutrient dense smoothies (when possible) packets of nuts or seeds, bananas, boiled eggs peeled and ready to go and crackers at the ready when hunger pangs hit. If you are planning on breastfeeding, its good to know that producing milk for a singleton babe consumes in the region of five hundred calories! ( https://kellymom.com/nutrition/mothers-diet/mom-calories-fluids/) Its easy to reach for the sugar, but protein and nutrient dense snacks will stave off blood sugar crashes and keep you fuller for longer.

2) Support... Brits are rubbish at asking for help. But support in the first six weeks (or longer!) really is something that should be planned for ahead of time. Professional support if your budget can accommodate as well as enlisting the help of family and close friends. When announcing your pregnancy can you organise a dinner? Whereby you gather those you can rely on and seek support. Get out of your comfort zone and invite people you trust to lend a hand. Can family members alternate and do one overnight per week, or a group of your besties work between them to ensure they have your back for a couple of hours per day, to bring you food, hold the fort whilst you have a shower and chat with you. Be honest and realistic with loved ones so they know how to help. If you don't ask you don't get!  Every single culture outside of western industrialised societies have unlimited family support for new mothers. Family and friends swoop in and cook, clean and honour this post natal phase for weeks and months afterwards!

3) Know your pain meds... pregnancy and birth can take its toll on your body. And whilst you may come through the entire pregnancy without any real ailments many mama’s are not so lucky. Many of the mums I've supported experienced some pain either in their joints or more commonly in their backs and hips. It's a good idea to seek professional and ongoing help, but having knowledge of pains meds you are allowed to take during pregnancy and breastfeeding can be super helpful. Heres a comprehensive guide at your fingertips

4) Bodywork... In its many forms from massage, chiropractic, Bowen therapy to reiki and reflexology will do wonders for your body mind and soul. Find a practitioner you are comfortable with preferably leading up to the birth. With many therapists offering home visits it would be rude not to! According to James Raiher registered Osteopath  ‘When you are pregnant, the weight of the uterus exerts a pull on the lumbar spine, and this has an effect on your posture. In addition, the ligaments in your body soften and your joints become looser, so your spine and pelvis have more work to do as you move. This can lead to pain in the low back, shoulders and neck. Carrying twins almost doubles these pressures. Osteopathic treatment offers a gentle way of helping the body adapt to these changes, and your osteopath will offer advice on how best to manage the biomechanical challenges that pregnancy brings. They will also provide treatment for sore joints and muscles and help to relieve aches and pains.’

5) Fresh Air... The simple joy of getting out of the house is not to be overlooked. Of course this may not be possible straight away, but try and find a way to get out for a walk at least once a day. The restorative power of being part of normal day to day hustle and bustle even just for twenty minutes blows away the brain cobwebs and creates a focus for the day. Don't overthink it, bundle up those babies, stay local and grab a coffee or a walk in the park.

One in ten new mothers will experience post natal depression and according to TAMBA one in five twin mums. This is also confounded by the fact that caesareans account for over half of all twin births. Caesarians have been linked to higher rates of PND. With this in mind its paramount that planning for some element of daily or weekly self-care should be part of every mothers post natal plan.

Nursery decor, baby clothes, breastpumps and names are all part of meticulous and detailed planning without little to no thought given to the needs of the new mother post birth. Whats often taken for granted before having babies can seem so luxurious when they are here. With a little careful planning and asking those around you for support self-care doesn't have to be the reserve of Paltrow and co.