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07845 659557

birthkeeper doula supporting parents autonomous choices through pregnancy, birth and beyond

Jo Blogs

Jo Blogs a collection of musings of life, birth and post partum from my experience as a birthkeeper and human.

The story so far

Jo Dunn

The story so far…

In June 2008 a dear friend asked me to be her birth companion, queue cringeworthy hospital antenatals that amounted to minimal birth preparation which lead to a thirty six hour induction, that fortunately resulted in a wonderful water birth. I witnessed incredible and supportive midwives in action, whose simple question “how long have you been a doula” inspired a u-turn in career direction and a personal  transformational shift. In 2009 I embarked upon my first doula training, sparking a thirst for all things birth and opening my eyes to women’s experience of pregnancy and birth in modern maternity systems, both in the UK and America.

As a consequence of supporting many people to birth their babies, the gradual realisation set in that I was consistently witnessing low risk healthy women experience heavily medicalised, largely coerced and often traumatic births. I had become a professional bystander to the medical conveyor belt that is birth in the UK today. ‘Delivery’ is the term used by the NHS to explain birth at least there is transparency about their responsibility to you - a live delivery and very little else.

When a woman experiences a powerful, raw, primal, moving, immersive birth, she experiences a seismic shift in her being that cultivates her emergence into motherhood. Physiological birth has the potential to alter brain chemistry to accord with newly acquired maternal responsibility, bonding, milk production and individual satisfaction of the birth experience. Imagine if every birthing person was experiencing fully embodied life affirming joyful births?!

Take a moment to consider how many women you know, that have had a positive hospital birth experience?

Like many of my doula peers I embarked upon this calling, knowing it would be challenging nonetheless feeling I could help change the system from the inside. It would be simple I would educate parents-to-be to make smart birth choices and by being there in person I could ensure positive birth experiences in a hospital setting. How naive?! It is impossible to stop the juggernaut that is the modern maternity system, especially when we believe this system provides us with safety.

Covid blessed me with a pregnant pause to asses how I wanted to support families going forward. In 2020 I stopped supporting hospital births. I stopped regurgitating the narrative that women could have a good birth experience ‘anywhere’ and stopped centring myself as the doula saviour. I began to heal from the trauma I witnessed and so, my journey into working authentically as a birthkeeper unfolded, holding space for people as they birth their babies at home.

Birth works perfectly when physiology is understood and respected by those in the birthing environment and when a labouring woman is not disturbed. From the moment a woman engages with the maternity system she is bombarded by consistent messaging that undermine her growing instinct and serve to inform her that her pregnant body is unsafe and that only medicine can save her from her dangerous body and unpredictable baby.  Surveillance from scans, screening, appointments and monitoring, all under the banner of ‘safety’ and the impossible quest of eliminating ‘risk’ have created a landscape of unanswerable questions. Women are lumped into categories according to perceivable risk, these categories are vast and cover pretty much anyone who is pregnant.  With the only conceivable option to avoid said risk is to choose from the menu of medical intervention. Forsaking any meaningful counsel about the risks that the ‘recommended’ intervention proposes on mother and baby both short and long term. Through the obstetric lens, pregnancy is a disease waiting to go awry and birth something to be feared and remedied.

We have moved into a paradigm were healthy birthing populations are unconsciously choosing medicine to support a normal physiological event and coming out of the experience physically and emotionally harmed. ‘Trauma informed care’ is the current buzz word in a system, that perpetually causes the trauma it intends to inform its practitioners all about. Chicken meet egg.

Midwives, the experts in birth are increasingly unable to practice in full autonomy as they are now professional subordinates to their obstetric counterparts. Medicine and skilled clinicians will always have its place in pregnancy and birth and I am very grateful for the accessibility to obstetrics and surgery that has saved the lives of many mothers and babies.

Birth has moved into a phenomena that always requires medical assistance and sometimes (accidentally?) occurs naturally and in this we are harming mother baby dyads for generations. The fait accompli of the industrial medical complex is spearheading a legacy where humans are born and die on drugs.

Giving birth unfettered by the constraints of hospital systems, fear and the stories of others is a woman’s birthright. Today I support people to birth their babies in their power at home.

Peace on earth starts with birth.

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Self-care

Jo Dunn

Self-care’ has become a buzzword that has permeated pretty much every area of social media with 1.4 million photos hash tagged ‘self-care’ on instagram. If we are to believe social media then ‘self-care’ lives in L.A owns long tanned legs and lives on a diet of green juice and self belief.

The self-care industry generates around $10 billion per year and whilst it is easy to write off as a reserve of the millennial snowflake it has its roots in Ancient Greek philosophy. The French  philosopher Michel Foucault argued that the ancient greeks saw it as integral to democracy: self-care was a necessary part of care for others. It made you a better, more honest citizen. What is self-care and how on earth does it apply to new mothers, when the chances of having a pee alone feels self-indulgent? Should self-care in the post natal period be an afterthought or could mums-to-be plan ahead?

Having supported many families over the years I'm under no illusion that time is something a new mother can purchase on amazon prime! Days whizz by in a haze of feeding, changing and snuggling, where even a full meal can seem like a distant memory. But with a little planning in the antenatal phase, the first few weeks needn't be a blur you would rather forget.

1) Food... Its sounds like basic advice, but stocking the freezer in advance with your favourite foods ready to defrost and heat is a total winner. As is having snacks a plenty dotted around the house and stashed in places you plan on feeding your babies. I highly recommend protein based snack bars, nutrient dense smoothies (when possible) packets of nuts or seeds, bananas, boiled eggs peeled and ready to go and crackers at the ready when hunger pangs hit. If you are planning on breastfeeding, its good to know that producing milk for a singleton babe consumes in the region of five hundred calories! ( https://kellymom.com/nutrition/mothers-diet/mom-calories-fluids/) Its easy to reach for the sugar, but protein and nutrient dense snacks will stave off blood sugar crashes and keep you fuller for longer.

2) Support... Brits are rubbish at asking for help. But support in the first six weeks (or longer!) really is something that should be planned for ahead of time. Professional support if your budget can accommodate as well as enlisting the help of family and close friends. When announcing your pregnancy can you organise a dinner? Whereby you gather those you can rely on and seek support. Get out of your comfort zone and invite people you trust to lend a hand. Can family members alternate and do one overnight per week, or a group of your besties work between them to ensure they have your back for a couple of hours per day, to bring you food, hold the fort whilst you have a shower and chat with you. Be honest and realistic with loved ones so they know how to help. If you don't ask you don't get!  Every single culture outside of western industrialised societies have unlimited family support for new mothers. Family and friends swoop in and cook, clean and honour this post natal phase for weeks and months afterwards!

3) Know your pain meds... pregnancy and birth can take its toll on your body. And whilst you may come through the entire pregnancy without any real ailments many mama’s are not so lucky. Many of the mums I've supported experienced some pain either in their joints or more commonly in their backs and hips. It's a good idea to seek professional and ongoing help, but having knowledge of pains meds you are allowed to take during pregnancy and breastfeeding can be super helpful. Heres a comprehensive guide at your fingertips

4) Bodywork... In its many forms from massage, chiropractic, Bowen therapy to reiki and reflexology will do wonders for your body mind and soul. Find a practitioner you are comfortable with preferably leading up to the birth. With many therapists offering home visits it would be rude not to! According to James Raiher registered Osteopath  ‘When you are pregnant, the weight of the uterus exerts a pull on the lumbar spine, and this has an effect on your posture. In addition, the ligaments in your body soften and your joints become looser, so your spine and pelvis have more work to do as you move. This can lead to pain in the low back, shoulders and neck. Carrying twins almost doubles these pressures. Osteopathic treatment offers a gentle way of helping the body adapt to these changes, and your osteopath will offer advice on how best to manage the biomechanical challenges that pregnancy brings. They will also provide treatment for sore joints and muscles and help to relieve aches and pains.’

5) Fresh Air... The simple joy of getting out of the house is not to be overlooked. Of course this may not be possible straight away, but try and find a way to get out for a walk at least once a day. The restorative power of being part of normal day to day hustle and bustle even just for twenty minutes blows away the brain cobwebs and creates a focus for the day. Don't overthink it, bundle up those babies, stay local and grab a coffee or a walk in the park.

One in ten new mothers will experience post natal depression and according to TAMBA one in five twin mums. This is also confounded by the fact that caesareans account for over half of all twin births. Caesarians have been linked to higher rates of PND. With this in mind its paramount that planning for some element of daily or weekly self-care should be part of every mothers post natal plan.

Nursery decor, baby clothes, breastpumps and names are all part of meticulous and detailed planning without little to no thought given to the needs of the new mother post birth. Whats often taken for granted before having babies can seem so luxurious when they are here. With a little careful planning and asking those around you for support self-care doesn't have to be the reserve of Paltrow and co.

twinning

Jo Dunn

It's 3.13am on a cold blustery November night. I'm lying awake listening to a cacophony of farmyard animals, awaiting the signal of hunger, ravenous never been fed before hunger. In the background is the faint steady hum of a machine. A couple of minutes pass by and a pitter patter of feet bring the delivery to my door, just in time as baby girls lets out a wail. A busy morning ensues with two hungry babies to feed, change, cuddle and settle. Sound familiar?

I'm a Birth and Post partum birthkeeper, I support expectant families as they approach the birth of their newborns. Providing up to date evidence based information, guidance and emotional support, including birth support when mums go into labour. I go on call for parents two weeks before their estimated due date. My phone does not leave my side day or night until I receive the call that labour has started, most often in the middle of the night. I journey with mums as they labour, anticipating their needs and navigating hospitals and medics, midwives and birthpools. I'm there until babies are born and fed, photos have been taken and milky sweet tea delivered.

Its hard to be definitive regarding my role as a post natal doula. Some families I will see a few times a week for the first few weeks after birth, others up to twelve weeks of the babies life.  I'll do hands on domestic stuff, cooking and laundry for some families, whilst others simply require emotional support and companionship.  The sessions are often interspersed with me answering questions, "is this normal" is a common phrase, which ultimately leads onto a conversation that will hopefully ease any worries around the topic. After twenty odd years of supporting new families as a nanny, maternity nurse and more latterly a doula, there isn't much I haven't seen or heard. A fairly typical scene is me wearing a baby in a sling whilst chopping up ingredients for a one pot wonder and chatting to a mum about sleep, breastfeeding, contents of nappies and the tiny wind farm that I'm wearing. Normal stuff.

For many mothers their voyage into breastfeeding is often littered with shoddy 'advice' from a plethora of professionals and well meaning family members. I have waved goodbye to a happy mum on Friday with a baby feeding beautifully. To return on Monday to a crestfallen, anxious mum and very unhappy baby, because great aunt Betty visited over the weekend and declared "that baby feeds too much" Unsolicited advice has usurped many breastfeeding relationships, mainly from untrained, myth based, or outdated information from Health Visitors (who seem to love infacol!) to mum in laws. To an exhausted ear all advice seems like good advice. My suggestion to anyone visiting new parents, bring lasagne not advice. Guidance and support regarding all feeding choices is part and parcel of what I do for my clients. And it doesnt end when the session does. It's standard for me to be sending over links and articles to mums in transit. Up to date information written by trusted experts in the field can help new mums make informed choices. If at least once a week I'm not overheard on public transport asking “how's your nipples now” then it's a quiet week!

Twin families have a special place in my heart. I'm privy to the fastest learning curve known to humanity! How to attend to the ever growing needs of two small humans. No amount of TAMBA or NCT can fully prepare parents for those first few weeks. I'm not just talking about the sleep deprivation or the Olympic nappy changing. I'm talking about the Herculean sense of responsibility, the emotional superglue that has you checking they are breathing 675 times per hour and the sense that you will never eat enough again. Especially if it's hot. Motherhood is peppered with brilliant moments of ‘winning’ The first time you have an uninterrupted shower, or one baby sleeps on a vessel that isn't a human, or popping to the post office on your own <insert Rocky theme tune> These small victories grow as your family does.

There is no mother more grateful of support than a mum of multiples. The physical effort required to care for two babies is often overlooked in the lead up to giving birth. Many families approach me as paternity leave is coming to an end and the level of support necessary is dawning. I spend a lot of my sessions with twin families ensuring that mum has enough to eat and to hand when I leave at the end of the session. I've known so many new mums tell me they've eaten nothing all day, the fridge is full of ingredients and no time to cook. We all know the physical and mental affects of sleep deprivation and the well intended advice of ‘sleep when they do’ which is impossible for many mothers to do without support. If your mind is racing about the ever growing to-do list how can you get any rest? Doulas have a keen eye for damage limitation. Bundling mums off to bed, clicking on the washing machine, taking those babies out for a walk and returning two hours later with two hungry babies and one rested mum. Rocket science, no.

I recently asked Manda my current twin mummy about her experience of doula support.

“They say it takes a village to raise a child… A village and a doula to raise twins! We felt comforted by the nurturing philosophy underpinning Doula-hood. To know that these very little people were in loving hands, where baby led decisions were being made, meant we could get the support we needed without feeling like we were compromising the well-being of our children. Not only are doulas an extra pair of hands they are another heart and soul to truly care for your babies”

Its 3.47am. Baby girls breathing slows as she rest her gorgeous head on my shoulder and I marvel at her long lashes. She lets out a satisfied and sonic belch as I lay her in her cot. Her brother who realising he's awake and therefore starving, makes his first percussive complaint. Two tiny legs bashing his mattress rhythmically then the hands and now a high pitched screech. Better feed the little one many band. 4.20am silence. For now.

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